On September 12, Nickie Morris will be setting off for what promises to be the bike ride of a lifetime, taking on the Big Welsh Bike Ride for Tŷ Hafan Children’s Hospice. Here Nickie explains in her own words what’s behind her decision to step out of her comfort zone, challenge herself to ride 200 miles in just three days from Caernarfon to Cardiff and raise £2,000 in the process.
“The main reason for me singing up to Tŷ Hafan’s Big Welsh Bike Ride is that my little sister Natalie would have turned 40 on 18 Sept this year and this event is just days before,” says Nickie, from Cardiff. “So when I saw the Big Welsh Bike Ride for Tŷ Hafan advertised online I signed up there and then – it just spoke to me.
“Natalie was born on Sept 18 1985. She was three years younger than me. When she was born they told us she wasn’t going to make it to five. But she made it to 18 although the last couple of years of her life were full of pain for her.
“We were numbers two and four in a family of five children and from my early teens I was one of the main carers for Natalie.
“This is the way I will be celebrating her birthday. Every year me and a friend always do something crazy to mark Natalie’s birthday and the date of her passing – things she could never have done.
“Natalie couldn’t talk or walk and she was blind. Due to a lack of oxygen at birth she had cerebral palsy and microcephaly. As she got older, life got more and more difficult for her and she’d be in more and more pain.
“But she loved music, she loved loudness, and bright lights. She loved the sensory room at Tŷ Hafan. And she loved the sound of male voices. And even when she would be in worst pain she would always be smiling.
“Natalie and me first became involved with Tŷ Hafan when she was around 15 or 16 years old. She would have been one of the first children to have been supported by the charity.
“For me Tŷ Hafan was my saviour. Natalie could stay there and be cared for, and I could stay there and study for my A levels in one of the little flats upstairs. Tŷ Hafan provided that respite for all of us. I knew Natalie better than most people and being there was that safety blanket.
“I really don’t know what life would have been like without Tŷ Hafan. I think for me it was about having that rest, having that break. The nurses were like family and it meant so much to have that support at some of the most frightening times of our lives.
“Nothing was too much trouble for them. Opening up facilities for family and friends to come and celebrate Natalie’s 18th birthday was just one example of that. And I don’t think I’d have been able to get through that studying without Tŷ Hafan.
“As for what Natalie thought of Tŷ Hafan – it’s hard to say, because we could only ever guess what she was thinking and feeling. But I think she felt cared for there and loved. There was never any concern leaving her in their care.
“September 18th 2003 was Natalie’s 18th birthday – something we thought she’d never live to see. But she did live to see it and she spent it in Tŷ Hafan where they’d arranged a big birthday celebration for her. It was brilliant.
“Unfortunately though, once Natalie had turned 18 she couldn’t stay in Tŷ Hafan any more. Fortunately she was able to move to Holme Towers, but and she passed away just five months later on February 6 2004.
“Even after her death – there was lot of support offered to us by Tŷ Hafan. In the event I didn’t actually take up any of it. I dealt with so much of it on my own – something I realise now that I didn’t have to do. In fact I only went to annual memorial event for the first time in June 2023. One of the most overwhelming things was meeting people I’d known back then. That shared platform of grief. It is still so very powerful.
“So to anyone else who is thinking of signing up for the Big Welsh Bike Ride, I’d say: ‘Do it’. Not only will it be a massive achievement for them, but by doing it you will benefit so many families out there. The support that Tŷ Hafan offers so many families is literally is a lifeline. I can’t stress that enough. Tŷ Hafan gives you people who understand you and connection with other families going through what you’re going through. So just do it. I never thought that I could raise £800 in a few days.
“Every day I just want to make Natalie proud. The work that I’ve done is 100% is down to having had Natalie in my life. I think having a sibling like Natalie makes you much more empathic and caring. I’ve only ever cared about supporting people and families.
“Having Natalie in my life has made her me who I am as a person. She never had a chance to do many things with her life. When I do things, I think to myself that I’m going to do this because Natalie couldn’t have done so. So it’s all about reaching out and taking opportunities as they come.”
James Davies-Hale, Head of Fundraising for Tŷ Hafan, said: “I’d like to thank Nickie for sharing her story with us and I’m hoping it will be an inspiration for others to take on our new Big Welsh Bike Ride alongside her.
“Thousands of families in Wales live every day knowing that their child’s life will be short. At the moment, they often face this without any care or support. Alone. Afraid. Isolated.
“When a child’s life will be short, like Natalie’s was, no family should have to live it on their own. Tŷ Hafan will walk alongside them, every step of the way, through life, death and beyond.”
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